Since I do not have anything that is of particular interest to write about this week, I figured I would do another, "This is why the French are crazy," post, except backwards. Living in a foreign country has helped me gain a better perspective of the American culture, which can be seen as a blessing and a curse. I came up with a little checklist to help anyone traveling abroad be able to spot their fellow Americans in a crowd.
How to spot the Americans in a crowd:
1. Look for smiles. Americans tend to be overly happy.
2. Listen for poor pronunciation of common French words. If Bonjour sounds like "Bun-jer", watch out.
3. Keep an eye out for books titled "The Essential French Phrase Book: All You Need to Know for Your Vacation," or "The Beginner's Guide to French," or "Speak it like a Native."
Over the weekend, my friend and I stayed in a small, French hotel near the center of Paris. Being the only one who spoke French, I had to communicate all of our wishes and needs to the concierge. He explained to me that there had been a problem with one of the wings of the hotel, and they were going to have to move us to another hotel. I then translated this into English for my friends. The concierge then asked me where we were from, and I told him that we were from the States. He looked at me for a moment and then complimented my French. I assumed he was complimenting the fact that my accent was not strong enough for him to automatically assume that we were Americans. He said, "No, its just that most Americans think they can speak French, but cannot." It didn't sound much like a compliment after all...
4. Beware of beer-bellies, sweatshirts, and baseball caps.
All dead giveaways.
I had one specifically harrowing experience on the metro while in Paris that was so stereo-typical of Americans, that I could not keep from laughing. Three or four people squeezed onto the metro with backpacks and luggage (doesn't automatically mean American). My friend and I were sitting on seats that face the doors, so as these people were trying to get on, we had a front row seat to what French see as typical American. One of the guys, in particular, had just barely made it into the train because his potbelly was so big that he was having trouble squeezing in. He decided to try and turn a bit so his backpack wouldn't get caught in the doors. By turning, he virtually blocked me from any avenue of escape. When his wife kindly mentioned, "Honey, you're about to squish that poor girl." (insert me trying to awkwardly turn my head so I didn't eat his backpack)
He replied, "What?" (spoken at typical American volume, which is about ten decibels higher than the French)
"You're about to hit that girl with your bag." (Insert other passengers beginning to stare) "What? Oh right, sorry. I mean desolee." (insert very poor pronunciation of the French word for sorry)
So the man adjusts about two centimeters, I can now face forward in my seat. Then, the train decides to take a turn, and the very large man loses his balance. Bam. Face full of backpack loudly accompanied by more poorly pronounced "Desolees".
5. Watch for the chronic line-makers
If someone is trying to form a line, anywhere, everywhere, whether it is necessary or not, assume they are American.
If someone becomes upset over the fact that there is not a line, assume they are American.
If someone becomes uncomfortable due to the fact that the European version of line is "form a compact, semi-circle around the cashier", assume they are American.
If someone leaves so much room in between himself and the next person in line that other people are cutting in because they didn't realize there was a line, assume said person is American.
I have done a few posts bashing some ridiculous French habits, so I thought I would just remind myself that Americans can be just as ridiculous. These are mostly extremes, but I have come across most of them (or been guilty of them) enough times to realize that there is some truth behind all the French grumbling.
Until next time.
Elise